Decade in Review: The Best of the Bad

Neither list, the good or the bad, was easy to compile. It was very difficult to cut movies from the final rankings. For the best of the bads it is very hard to ignore the body of work that Eddie Murphy has compiled this decade (The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Meet Dave). The rise and meteoric fall of Jon Heder (Napolean Dynamite, School for Scoundrels, Blades of Glory). Not to mention the massive budget disasters (Australia, 10,000 BC). And of course the comedians in terrible movies; Steve Martin in The Pink Panther, David Spade in Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, and Bill Murray’s one regret Garfield.

There are some movies I consider atrocious, but for some reason everyone loves them. So I left those off the list, and I will not mention them. Because they do not deserve any more attention… stupid robots and pansy vampires.

Ultimately, I picked most of the movies on this list because I have had misfortune of seeing most of them. If I ever see them again in my life it will because I am being tortured… or paid to do it.

So here it is, my ten best of the bad, in no particular order:

Vanilla Sky

Some foreign films just don’t translate in America. Cultural differences as a Spanish film, but as a Tom Cruise/Cameron Crowe driven American piece? It sucked. And blew. Some parts of the “film” were interesting. For one scene they managed to empty out Times Square. There are some interesting pop culture references that were added to this version, such as the main characters posing like the album cover for “The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan”. Other than that I could not stand this movie, it was drab, dull, and dumb. The mystery is not at all mysterious, the love story seems too shallow. I admit that I am not a Tom Cruise fan, but he was especially painful in some parts of this movie. This version has too much of a shine on it, it doesn’t find a happy balance.

The worst part of it all is, I bought this DVD while on a private tour of Paramount Studios in the gift shop I saw DVDs, being a movie fan I had to buy. I decided to give this American version a shot because I heard very good things about Abre Los Ojos. Of a large and proud Paramount catalog I chose Vanilla Sky, I traded it in after one viewing.

Boat Trip

I think the saddest part of this movie is the fact that Cuba Gooding Jr. is in it. He has had some wonderful parts in Pearl Harbor (a bright spot in an otherwise terrible piece of crap), As Good as it Gets, and an Oscar winning performance in Jerry MacGuire. After those gave rise to his career it was mostly terrible comedies (Snow Dogs, Rat Race) the worst of which being Boat Trip. With the lovable (maybe when he was on SNL?) Horatio Sanz, I only saw this movie on TBS, and even they have standards. So they only ran it for a little bit.

Fat Albert

Bill Cosby’s bits about Fat Albert are funny. Especially in his first stand up featuring Fat Albert off of his comedy album “Revenge”. Kenan Thompson is not funny. Especially not as Fat Albert. Way to go Kenan, nice job.

Deuce Bigalo: European Gigalo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYsUSBG0BN4 - any Rob Schneider movie

The original South Park episode: http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/615

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Dear Brad Pitt, you have had some amazing parts in some awesome movies. Your current movie star status has helped boost the selling power of some really great movies. Movies that would otherwise might have gotten lost in the shuffle. For example; Fight Club, Snatch, Twelve Monkeys. I understand that to maintain such a status you need to make bank, so I forgive you. I will probably watch your next movies. Especially if your team up with Sean Penn looks promising in The Tree of Life.

Herbie: Fully Loaded

Lindsay Lohan “acts” and “sings”. Reason enough? The very first movie was cutesy. One of the many live action Disney movies that were decent. Herbie was not the best out of that pack, but it was not terrible. This was, I only saw about three minutes on tv, and that was way too much.

The Squid & the Whale

I have owned this movie. I have returned this movie for money. It helped me buy MC Chris’ album “MC Chris is Dead.” Much more solid investment.

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector

In the past decade, as in every decade in cinema, good comedians have made bad movies. But in this case, a bad comedian made a bad movie. Or three movies. Or three movies three years in a row. After Health Inspector, there was Delta Farce, and then Witness Protection. Health Inspector is the worst because it’s occasionally on comedy central. And I am mistakenly under the impression that comedy central is supposed to play funny movies and tv shows.

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The Indiana Jones series? Awesome. The Indiana Jones series plus an old Indy, a dead Indiana Jones Sr., and Shia LeBouf. Terrible. The one bright spot? Any hint of Shia LeBouf taking over as the new Indy was snarkily destroyed when Harrison Ford denied LeBouf the iconic hat at the end of the movie. That part was cool. I hate Shia LeBouf btw. (Plus this movies was the subject of an awesome South Park parody as well.)

The Cat in the Hat

Dr. Seuss movie adaptations have barely tread water this decade. How the Grinch Stole Christmas was tolerable. Horton Hears a Who! was hardly tolerable. The Cat in the Hat was atrocious. It seemed as if Mike Myers was just doing another Austin Powers movie in a cat costume. Most of the jokes were way too adult for any Seuss audience. It was just horrendous. My family went to see this. We would have walked out early, but a trip to the movies is expensive for a family these days. So we got our money’s worth by loudly criticizing it. Yay, precious family bonding moments. P.S. Why are there so many ball jokes in Seuss adaptations? It doesn't seem right.

I hope you enjoyed the list and hate the movies as much as I did. Coming soon my personal ten favorite movies of the past decade.

The First Avenger: Captain America

Marvel Studios was very wise in deciding to create a movie of The Avengers. A movie of the Avengers team could have the potential to be extremely successful financially and artistically. It will most likely end up an over-enhanced, CG mess. However, I can still dream of quality actors in a well-made movie portraying the best of the Marvel Universe.

The Avengers is officially verified for summer of 2012, the team is set up as Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America. Other characters such as Black Widow, War Machine, and of course Nick Fury will be involved also. News is still coming in for this movie because there are movies that need to lead up. Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America, will all be made before the release of the Avengers. Iron Man 2 is set for a summer 2010 release, while the other two will be summer of 2011. There is also a possibility of a third Hulk movie, but Marvel does have their hands full here. While there is tons of casting news for Thor and Iron Man 2 has enough hype to spare, Captain America has had very little news.

This is very disheartening for me, because I am a big Captain America fan. He is my favorite superhero by far. There is some news to speak of. With the date set for the later part of summer 2011 there is pressure on the studio to produce. So far they have picked writers a director, Joe Johnston.

Most might not recognize his name, but they will certainly recognize his work. He was heavily involved in the visual effects department for the early Star Wars movies. Then he went on to direct Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Jumanji, October Sky, Jurassic Park III, Hidalgo, and the upcoming remake The Wolfman. This resume is pretty hit and miss, these are his most notable directorial efforts. October Sky is a great inspirational story, one of those hidden gem movies from the ‘90s. Most of his other works are effects oriented; Honey, I Shrunk the Kids is a great family film with good effects, Jumanji is as well. However, the true test for Johnston will be The Wolfman. This looks to be a great movie, the transformation effects look great and the film in general looks to have a great dark tone. That is the key though, it looks great, but that is not for certain. The movie has had some big troubles, but it looks like it will be released February 10, 2010 as scheduled.

Hopefully Johnston can lend some of that look to Captain America. The trend to make all superhero movies more dark and realistic is a very good thing for Captain America. His story needs a good grittiness to it. Reportedly, the minds at Marvel will not be wasting anytime trying to dream up some scenario for Cap, they’ll use his original story line, he will be able to fight Hitler once again! This story line will put the Captain at his origins as failed foot soldier Steve Rogers during World War II. He is deemed unfit for service in the army because he is too weak, and he subsequently volunteers for a government experiment to produce a super soldier.

There are very few details besides that. The rumor that Matthew McConaughey will be putting on the Cap’s suit is false, thank the lord, and there is no news besides that. It is very likely that this movie will be watchable, but not great. Unlike the Thor movie, which has a great potential to be epic, I have a lot of faith Kenneth Branagh. When this movie comes out I will probably watch it at midnight with my Captain America tee shirt and hat.

Review: Boondock Saint's II: All Saint's Day

This review is a little late in coming, I realize this, and I do not care that much. I went to New York City to see Boondock Saint's II: All Saint's Day. This was the first time that I had seen a movie in this large a setting, and this large a theater (Regal Cinemas in the Mall now has showings). It certainly enhanced the movie viewing experience, there was great applause for various parts of the movie. So with that in mind, here is my review.

Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day was an enjoyable movie. I went in to the theater with lowered expectations, I told myself that it would probably not be as much fun as the original. I was pleasantly surprised. It was better, and more enjoyable than I expected.

The story begins with the MacManus family in their homeland of Ireland. The father Noah (Billy Connolly) and his two sons Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) are in hiding, their rowdy past long behind them. They become called back to America after the murder of a priest was made to look like their work. On the boat ride over they meet a Mexican fighter by the name of Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.) who joins the brothers in their cause. Meanwhile, Detectives Greenly, Duffy, and Dolly return to investigate the murder or the priest and the murders that follow. They are joined by Eunice Bloom (Julie Benz) who is the protege of Paul Smecker. The story unfolds revealing that someone is trying to lure the boys and their father out from hiding. The mystery of who is really behind this keeps everyone guessing. There are several surprises at the end. Fans will definitely love the ways it ends.

This movie behaves a lot like a typical sequel. It borrows more from the original, instead of building off of the original. The camera gimmicks and tricks are still really cool, but they're not very original anymore. The story had a very similar flow to the original. Side characters were introduced at similar points, certain events played out the same way. For all of that though this movie did some good things. The comedy was very good. It had some very funny moments; Clifton Collins Jr. was hilarious and the Detectives had some good scenes too. The action was good, but it didn't do anything different from the original. The movie feels new because of some new characters and a new situation. Overall, it could have been done better. The story was a little flimsy and the pacing felt slightly rushed.

With all that aside, I enjoyed it a lot. It was Boondock Saints. The action was there, with the investigators playing a part in the slow motion recap of a mini-massacre. Even if it's not original, it was still cool. The comedy was great, the dialogue was clever and quick. The brothers bicker, the detectives worry, the federal investigator outwits them all, and Billy Connolly is still awesome. The big twist at the end solidified it for me, as a fan of the original. I will definitely be buying it on DVD. Will I watch it as many times as I did the original? No, but I will still enjoy it.

As it's own movie, Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day has very little, but as a sequel it does a pretty good job.

2.5/5

Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day

The opening sequence of Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day is now available for viewing on ign.com, the quality is not stellar, but it is the opening sequence for the movie.

Boondock Saints is a cult hit. It's the ideal movie for fans of clever, unadulterated, violence and snappy dialogue. I personally love the movie, the way it's shot, the way it's edited, and the way it's written. It's not the most technically solid movie, but it's such pure entertainment. I have been looking forward to the sequel ever since the news that it was shooting sprung up last August.

After watching the first five minutes, it honesty looks like I expected it to look; flashy, cool, but too much like the original. That's how the whole movie seems to be shaping up, it's essentially the original which means that it will not be as good. For example, nearly all the cast is back, with the exception of Willem Dafoe. There are some interesting additions to the cast such as Peter Fonda (Easy Rider), Clifton Collins Jr. (Star Trek and Sunshine Cleaning) and Julie Benz (TV - Dexter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as the protege to Willem Dafoe's character. With Troy Duffy back at the helm writing and directing this sequel it should be a big treat for fans of the original. However, by being second in line, the sequel will automatically lose some critical value. This will not necessarily kill the movie, but it does not help the movie's cause either.

In the end, I will go see this movie, I will probably buy the DVD, and I will enjoy it.

More information on the movie:
IMDB
Wikipedia

First Post

There will not be much to this first post. I have very little to write about at the moment. I am a huge fan of movies and I love to write and talk about them. A need to do this regularly is my motivation for starting this blog.

My posting will consist of many areas of movie news, film reviews, and the study of cinema. Including, personal reactions to movie news, rumors, and developments in the industry. I will also review and critique recent movies or past movies that I enjoy. Occasionally, I will write on film history; the careers of actors and directors, trends in moviemaking, and anything movie related that I want to write about.

Some quick movie news:

There are rumors of potential remake of The Third Man by way of CHUD.com. Devin Faraci of CHUD says an official announcement may be around the corner. The big news in this rumor is that Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Macguire may have starring roles in the project. While I am appalled by most possible remakes (Red Dawn) for some reason this project is intriguing. The Third Man is a fantastic film. A classic film that showcased the brilliant acting skills of Orson Welles and Joseph Cotten.
For classic film fans, this movie will never die. For the general audience, it is dead. While I believe the original film is a unique and very hard to repeat, the core of this story has potential for a modern adaptation. A modern setting for intrigue and government conspiracy could have just enough controversy to make is watchable.
Also, Leonardo Dicaprio and Tobey Macguire could be very good for this project. These two actors are obviously known for popular roles, but are starting to flex some serious dramatic acting with upcoming films; Dicaprio in Shutter Island and Macguire in Brothers. If they want to pump up their filmography then there would be nothing better than a remake of The Third Man.

Ultimately, this remake will probably not be made. Even if it did, whomever took hold of the project would most likely make the setting too bright and shiny, without enough of the old-fashioned grim and grit. There would probably be explosions and flash. With all the action happening on screen and none of the undertones or shadowed events like the original.


Original CHUD article

The Third Man - original trailer